Another equation

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= A diminishingly awkward good time. Jean and I hit up a fondue place in Paris tonight serving wine in baby bottles. Surprisingly, or perhaps not to some, once you start suckling the red milk from the nipple, it goes down just like the finest glass in the most expensive restaurant. Actually, this place could have been a little more affordable, but the fondue hit the spot and the nipple did open the door to myriad inappropriate jokes. Ah, nipple jokes. I mean Paris.

You got a little... something... right there..

Ahhhhhhh (hells) yea

England may be the culinary watercloset of the western world, but damn do they have their fish and chips down. Same can't be said about the french, though. Some frenchies wandered by and, looking at my plate, mumbled something to me in french. After I responded with a solid "hello", they explained that they were admiring my plate. I began to endorse the fish and chips before they cut me off with a hand gesture and a "yes good, good" and walked away, apparently their evening completely ruined because someone engaged in coversation. "Actually, the freedom fries come free," I said. Well I should've said it, stupid frogs.

i guess the comments thing decided to work now. crazy internets with their own mind.

This trip could not be off to a better start

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???

Yes, it does. Explanation perhaps in order.

Please don't fuck this up

This is the sweet print Jean got me for Christmas. While how cool of a piece of art this is is inarguable, the comparisons of Barry to Abe are I think misleading expectations for many (mostly those who think he can do no wrong). That said, he's the reason why I don't have to half-jokingly consider pinning a Canadian flag to my Maiden Voyage pack next week. We'll see how accurate this continental man-crush is in Europe, as it's the best international public opinion there's been for 7 years - when some other president royally screwed over the opportunity.

It's a weird feeling to be proud to be American again, and at least temporarily proud of our system. 36 hours in, and all good.

"Maiden" Voyage

This is typically a scenario where I would dispose of the evidence and simply not bring up in casual conversation. However, in the spirit of actually trying to make this blog thing somewhat worth reading, I'm going to open up a bit. I promise I won't typically be so long-winded.
I'm taking off for London tomorrow night and realized I was in need of a new pack to throw all of my crap into and show off on future camping trips, hikes, and so on ("this? oh, i just like to be active i guess. yea, that's a secret compartment. yea, that's a place to purify water," that sort of thing).
I went around to a few worthless outdoors stores, and Target, before realizing I should've just gone straight to REI. I'm not a shopper; I'm in and out. I thought about finding an employee and feigning a few backpackish questions since it was a larger purchase and should feel like I know my stuff, but then found a perfect pack for 1/2 off. The colors were a little fem between the lighter green and burgundy, so I fished around and found one in my color scheme and made the purchase.
Then tonight rolls around and as I'm packing I decide to read up a bit on the features. "Maiden Voyage 70L" is the name - the first time I read it, apparently. Struck me as bit odd of a name, but no biggie. Boarding pass pocket- cool. Compression straps? Sure, that sounds like I'll appreciate it I guess. "Specifically designed to fit a woman's curves..."
Turns out I missed the homely, grinning blonde girl on the sleeve of the owner's manual telling me I had just bought a chick's pack.
I'm not returning it. Mostly because I can't even if I wanted to - lame sale policy - but also because I'm confident enough to utilize my new "zip away shapely torso fit" like I'm the next Bear Grylls.