simpler times

he was sprawled out on the sidewalk like a bug having met a windshield on I-5. prone on his back, limbs stretched out like a shoddy compass. his face looked like a pile of dark putty being pulled towards the cement by some particularly strong pocket of gravity. i dont normally notice homeless people anymore due to sheer volume, but this man looked so bizarrely peaceful. surely drunk as a sailor having just discovered simpler times and tripping off god knows what else, he might not be the wisest correlation to draw, but on an aimless stroll through downtown on a warm night, he was the perfect hyperbole for the sanguine last week.

taking the Centurion out for a spin around town when the town is in cubicles; it's kind of embarrassing, the weird smirk i cant help but get when i first get a good pedal going. the first few eye contacts with strangers probably merit explanation. "no, friend," i'd say. "i'm not imagining you without pants. i'm just a free man out for a roll on his wheels on a sunny weekday afternoon. i also might have a strange susceptibility to endorphins."

everything is better and new, having decided my daily employment commitment perhaps wasnt the best for me at this time. the future is brighter, centurion rides more rejuvenating, bums more peaceful. hell, even excruciating, demoralizing bottom of the 9th playoff losses for the dodgers are more satisfying (haha suckers! suck it la!)

i now believe it's incredibly healthy for personal welfare and integrity to quit when the quitting's good. i don't recall exactly how it went down, so my memory may be a bit dodgy. i do remember a boss who looks like a Bro'd-Out Lumbergh (from Office Space) Sporting Hair in Thick Gel - BULSHITG, for short - calling me into his office one optimistic morning.

+


bulshitg: have a seat. how you feelin?
me: thanks. not so hot actually. i've been fighting off some kind of co-
bulshitg: that's great. so listen, we're doing some realigning of accounts here and we're going to be giving all of your clients to someone else and you'll be sitting at a desk all day calling car dealers that are practically out of market and want nothing to do with us.
me: ...
bulshitg: ...
me: what?
bulshitg: we think there's some tremendous opportunity there.
me: ... so you're taking my clients who know me even though i've grown revenue, created a revenue-generating magazine, interviewed tim gunn, and was sales person of the year last year?
bulshitg: we think they just need to be called
me: what? the car dealers? why is this happening?
bulshitg: i don't think you should be asking why. i think you should be thinking that the decision was made that you should have a job. see, we're doing some realign- blegght
me: what was that?
bulshitg: sorry, must be the babies i ate for lunch
me: what?
bulshitg: what?
me: ...
bulshitg: we're doing some realigning. did you say tim gunn?
me: is this because i tried to raise workplace morale by making light of your "sales call roleplay" with me in front of the whole staff the other day?
bulshitg: losersayswhat?

i filed for my resignation shortly thereafter, or that's how my memory serves me. daily bike rides and mid-afternoon history channel specials without working is obviously not sustainable, nor do i want it to be. but for now i might take a lead from the bum and head to the park tomorrow around 10am with a simpler times and pass out because, well, i can. and every once in a while it's good to do... the simpler things!