it's a festivus miracle! the festivus story, as told in spanish
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
this one's for you, Glenn
Glenn Beck chided Obama for the timing of his announcement on Afghanistan since it bumped A Charlie Brown Christmas from TV.
As Glenn Beck noted, that show includes "one of the most politically incorrect scenes on TV," in which Linus recounts the story of the nativity. "Maybe we should put everything back in its rightful place and listen to messages that actually mean something," Beck suggested.
Way to stand up to the man on the big issues, Glenn. I'll let Linus stick it to the liberals:
As Glenn Beck noted, that show includes "one of the most politically incorrect scenes on TV," in which Linus recounts the story of the nativity. "Maybe we should put everything back in its rightful place and listen to messages that actually mean something," Beck suggested.
Way to stand up to the man on the big issues, Glenn. I'll let Linus stick it to the liberals:
"I'm comin' home, Dorothy,"
gasped the American president, played by Danny Glover (naturally), and sole survivor (of course) of a giant earthquake to hit DC as he gazed up at an enormous tidal wave carrying an aircraft carrier about to smash down into the capitol and himself (well, yeah).
I'm sure the thought of this scene made more than a few 10-year-olds piss their pants in awe and excitement and gave Roland Emmerich a raging... well, he probably had to call his doctor after 3 hours while directing the scene for 2012.
It's my own damn fault for going to see the movie in the first place. I knew full well that I was going to see what the industry still insists on referring to as a "blockbuster" or "monster of a movie" full of explosions, CGI and Danny Gloverisms (yesterday was, in fact, the most Glover I've watched in my life. Earlier in the day, I spent an hour watching Pure Luck on BET. It's a hilarious 90s movie, but c'mon: BET?)
It shouldn't have been the least bit unexpected, considering Emmerlich's resume includes such shitastic wonders of cinema as 10,000 BC (9%!), Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow. Still, I consider it a personal fail and a lapse in judgment when I've handed Roland 25 of my dollars to sit in front of a moving picture that I wanted to leave 25 minutes in. That's, like, $1/min!
Still, wtf Emmerlich?! I scoffed so many times during the whole 158 minutes that my scoffer hurt and I was telling myself to shut up. I'm going to become invested in John Cusack as a character because I've seen the same effing dialogue and character structure in every effing action movie? Let's see: let's take the storyline template of divorced parents/dad trying to earn son's appreciation/dad and mom get back together and use $200 million dollars of tape and caulking to make it stick to this doomsday thing. Should we even bother to change the actual words or sentimental music from the last film? Nah, we have to spend the budget on CGI!
It really wouldn't have bothered me so much if there wasn't so damn much of it. It makes me angry to think how helpless I am to not be able to admonish somebody responsible for this crap. What am I gonna do, leave a sternly-worded user review on Rotten Tomatoes for 2 people to read? Yes. Yes I am. Suck it, Emmerlich. You too, Glover.
I'm sure the thought of this scene made more than a few 10-year-olds piss their pants in awe and excitement and gave Roland Emmerich a raging... well, he probably had to call his doctor after 3 hours while directing the scene for 2012.
It's my own damn fault for going to see the movie in the first place. I knew full well that I was going to see what the industry still insists on referring to as a "blockbuster" or "monster of a movie" full of explosions, CGI and Danny Gloverisms (yesterday was, in fact, the most Glover I've watched in my life. Earlier in the day, I spent an hour watching Pure Luck on BET. It's a hilarious 90s movie, but c'mon: BET?)
It shouldn't have been the least bit unexpected, considering Emmerlich's resume includes such shitastic wonders of cinema as 10,000 BC (9%!), Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow. Still, I consider it a personal fail and a lapse in judgment when I've handed Roland 25 of my dollars to sit in front of a moving picture that I wanted to leave 25 minutes in. That's, like, $1/min!
Still, wtf Emmerlich?! I scoffed so many times during the whole 158 minutes that my scoffer hurt and I was telling myself to shut up. I'm going to become invested in John Cusack as a character because I've seen the same effing dialogue and character structure in every effing action movie? Let's see: let's take the storyline template of divorced parents/dad trying to earn son's appreciation/dad and mom get back together and use $200 million dollars of tape and caulking to make it stick to this doomsday thing. Should we even bother to change the actual words or sentimental music from the last film? Nah, we have to spend the budget on CGI!
It really wouldn't have bothered me so much if there wasn't so damn much of it. It makes me angry to think how helpless I am to not be able to admonish somebody responsible for this crap. What am I gonna do, leave a sternly-worded user review on Rotten Tomatoes for 2 people to read? Yes. Yes I am. Suck it, Emmerlich. You too, Glover.
Monday, December 7, 2009
holy yowzas
it's cold. how cold? well, i went for a stroll today and within 3 minutes:
= 
if you don't know what that second image is, google "diamond" and "cutter" - and make sure the safesearch is on. if you're from, say, portland or new york, just save it. this is the coldest it's been here in 30 years. so take your "we get four seasons of weather" and stuff it in a sack. it's COLD. by god, it's cold.
= 
if you don't know what that second image is, google "diamond" and "cutter" - and make sure the safesearch is on. if you're from, say, portland or new york, just save it. this is the coldest it's been here in 30 years. so take your "we get four seasons of weather" and stuff it in a sack. it's COLD. by god, it's cold.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
if you like it then you'll wanna put a ring on it, but they already did
i'll regret typing that later, but in the meantime, you know you like it. my bro-in-law pointed me to ted.com and this video is one of the more amazing/inspiring/mind-bending things i've seen. a couple years back they landed a probe on one of the moons of saturn. that speck of light you see in the low western sky, 750 million miles away in the outer solar system... mankind managed to land one of our machines on one of its 60 moons and send back pictures to us. when one really stops to think about the complexity and enormity of that accomplishment, well, check it for yourself. be sure to watch it all the way through for the amazing image at the end.
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