Land of the dong-waving, doll-hating lost

Turns out the formerly-exiled king of Belgium and I probably would've made good drinking buddies. No surprise there, but I didn't realize it until coming across a story about a bizarre island in the Bengal Sea: on a tour of the Andaman Islands east of India in the 70s, his ship pulled near the notoriously-mysterious island of North Sentinal. They pulled close enough to coax the aggressively-isolationist natives out of the jungle to raise their bows and arrows, but just out of their range. I assume the king chuckled, maybe gave a few high fives and sailed off, "most satisfied with this adventure".

Thirty-five years later, one could have the same experience the kind did in the 70s or, if you like, the same experience of the first "outsiders" to reach the island in 1867, who were promptly killed for being there.


By all accounts, the inhabitants of this tiny island (estimated at 50-400 people) live just as they did in the times of the earliest explorers and the first nomads. They use primitive weapons, think clothes are for suckers, and apparently haven't figured out how to make fire, relying on lightning strikes. They intend to keep every modern asshole, well-intentioned or not, the hell off their island, too. Aside from the poor shipwrecked crew in 1867, they slit the throat of an escaped convict who managed to swim to the shore a couple decades later. People apparently learned their lesson until the 1970s, when a couple of smartass anthropologists and National Geographic photographers thought they knew the trick: "gesture peacefully" and give them a toy doll. The natives replied with a barrage of arrows, hitting a photographer in the leg, all the while laughing and waving their dongs on the beach, burying the doll in the sand. Lastly, there was the Primrose freighter which ran aground near the island in 1981. The captain watched as the natives wandered out on the beach, then began trying to hit the ship with arrows. Just out of reach, he then watched in horror as they began trying to build boats to come out to kill them. The captain issued a panicked call for help, eventually being rescued by helicopter which the natives, of course, shot at.

There's something very cool that in 2010, there's still virtually untouched tribes like this in remote corners of the world. It's even cooler that they're pissed off at every single one of us.

We created a machine, flew it to Mars, commanded it to dig some trenches, snapped a picture and sent it back to earth. There was a time when we'd all be burned at the stake for this kind of insolence and ingenuity.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

California's Pipe Dream

Borrowed a few National Geographics from the local bibliotheque for reading material on the plane; I've found a new personal goldmine. I love the shots in the mag and normally there's an intriguing story or two, but there's no way I'm subscribing - I'm stingy these days. I found the local library's stash and cashed in.
An issue from the end of 09 about the state of the world's ever-growing population's dependence on an ever-stretched and evolving water supply was entirely fascinating and alarming. Amid all of the cool charts on how the world's cities acquire their water, how costly it is, and how that supply is running thin, was a story about California's intricate and imbalanced water system that has become almost exponentially perilous as the state's population swells and structures age.
Discovery Bay, just east of here. What a fun-filled water paradise - in the middle of a freaking desert. Pretty much a microcosm of entire Southern California.

The story touches on the dyslexic water system of the state, where the vast majority of water falls in the north but of course the vast majority of people live in the south. This in itself wouldn't be an issue, except for the shady water history behind LA's original growth, the fact that much of the state depends on now-crumbling structures built by 19th century Chinese laborers, and the southern areas' continued rapid growth despite an incredibly obvious but unaware lack of water. Desalinization offers a very pricey partial solution for an ass-broke government, but not much.

Also of note in the issue: that giant, enormous Three Gorges dam China is building? It is expected to be so heavy so as to move the earth's tilt by about an inch. Dam! Also, also of note in the issue: the farms that feed the country and big cities of the heartland like Denver? They depend heavily on a giant underground aquifer under the continent that is being drained much faster than it can be naturally replenished. What will happen when one of the country's main food baskets runs out of water? Mmm soylent green.
Thanks, China.

Thanks, heartland.

I govern pretty one day

Sometimes I swear I think my computer can hear my loud, sarcastic chiding and actually see my slow, exasperated head shake.
I mean, really. Really? In some ways, this is what it is. I tried to take a break from certain headlines recently because it only made me bitter, but there's just too many levels of juicy, tantalizing moron going on here. And to be real, I'm generally bitter, so what's there to lose?
Usually, there's an awkward but expected pause for response on current events while Sarah's directed what position to take. This one, though, was just another equivalent of letting your toddler drive the nation's history around an empty parking lot, crashing into a few shopping carts here, a few gosh darn facts there. What's the harm? By the time time you wrestle the steering wheel back, your sedan resembles the Pope-mobile, your toddler is staring at you with pursed lips and a taxidermy-like bliss, and Jesus and John Adams are tied up in the back with cloth balls stuffed in their mouths wearing Uncle Sam costumes.