laura croft's snarkiness

"you should try to watch your temper sometimes," jean says occasionally. they're usually occasions following curb your enthusiasm fodder; exchanges with strangers including unnecessary drama, misunderstandings and obscenities. in general, i agree. i sometimes have a bit of a short fuse with people that i dont know, usually when they're in a position of owing me service and they either try to screw me or cop an attitude. rarely do i ever lash out. it's normally a curt, dismissive remark intended to stick it to them and leave them humbled in sorry reality (thanks for taking me down the busiest street at rush hour. funny how that affects a tip, isn't it?"). this is usually followed about 15 minutes later with coming to my senses and thinking the whole exchange was entertaining. then i feel bad for about half a day, before again thinking the whole thing was funny.

the film yard is a bit of a north beach institution. in the neighborhood for about 20 years, it's survived blockbuster (no big task there) and netflix. the employees are usually overly helpful and suggestive and often leave to grab a bite around the corner, leaving a "be back in 5 min" on the door for 10-15 minutes. it's locally owned, small and quirky though, so we usually frequent them for our film-watching needs.

there's one employee of this place who ordinarily wouldn't stand out from the equally-nerdy others, except that she sports a crazy belt that a homely laura croft might wear. it's unmistakable that this belt is intended to have at least a dozen uses. there's pockets, silver things, latches, compartments and chambers. this might have been cool in medieval times, but when you work part time at a video store and the rest of your time as a student at the evil empire of san francisco, i doubt you'll be whittling or slaying dragons any time soon.


Note: reference to belt only. Belt not shown to scale or with nearly as many compartments.

The other afternoon i approached crazy belt to ask where a certain film could be found. she was counting cash from the register, so i waited contently. after a few seconds, she looked up and stared at me. i blurted out a "hi" after presuming she'd open with a "how may i help you?" instead, she chose an irritated, open-mouth head shake and an exacerbated "did you have a question, or....?" There was no turning back at this point. after locating my dvd, i tossed it on the counter to really let her know she was out of line. she didn't care and ignored my adolescent grabbing of the receipt and half-assed signature. not to be deterred, i delivered a "you know, you should be more courteous to customers" before slipping out the front door. she ran out to the sidewalk to yell after me and call me something i wont be able to repeat to my nephews for 10 years, minimum.

i went for a run and the usual cycle began. i chuckled it off before starting to feel remorseful right about the time i was completing my circle in the general vicinity of the film yard. right on cue, as i rounded my last turn, there was a homely laura croft hoisting herself onto her fourth-hand motorcycle, leather chambers and compartments swinging violently as she climbed on.

"hey!", i panted as i ran up to her. "so, i wanted to apologize for how things went down earlier."

leah's face (her actual name, as it would turn out and awfully similar to laura), lit up as she launched into a big apology about her behavior and explained her rough afternoon. after exchanging explanations and complimenting the belt, we're now practically pals and i wouldn't be surprised if i suddenly dont get any late fees.

clearly, i wouldnt be on such good terms with crazy belt if i hadnt given a snide remark. this isn't the first time something like this has happened and to me, it's evidence that sometimes a bit of a temper is a good thing.