answer: the poor man's hasselhoff

who is alex trebek?
i could stop at this picture alone. does anyone know why he ever posed topless, or why he looks like he knows a very perverted secret? i don't, and that's points right off the bat.
others would say his allure was shaved away with his "what is a mustache?" no, trebek's real genius lies in his unique ability to be a complete and utter asshole on national tv and be garnered with adoration for it. nightly, he treats jeopardy's contestants like tipsy sorority girls that wandered into the national spelling bee. he doesn't simply note incorrect answers, he takes explicit time to demoralize the contestant and most likely throw in a jab ("no. we were looking for giorgio abetti. not johannes kepler. johannes kepler would be 16th century. we're looking for nineteenth century astronomers...?") the inflection of a question at the end of his jab should not be underestimated; it is the quintessential prick move. he then leaves a second or two for the effect to settle in - the effect of some pat sayjack who supposedly knows every fact about everything and if you don't, well, what the fuck are you doing on my game show? also, don't even think about not making it a true daily double... "$500 only, huh? $1,200 would put you in the lead, but $500 it is..."

also: what?