sucks

From the toronto-ist site. I wish i had the cojones (also, necessary spare time and materials) to have done this many times whilst jean lived in a neighborhood not known for easy parking.
There would always be so many damn restrictions and cones up that on any given day, perhaps 40% of the parking spots were available.
"Sorry," the parking authority probably would say to a new request, "we already have three construction teams, a movie shoot, a crime scene, an eternally parked winnebago and 6 bus stops on that block alone. You'll have to wait until at least tomorrow."
"Aw, come on."
[a half smirk]
[a raised eyebrow]
"What the hell, they're adults - they'll figure it out. Granted!"
[evil laughing and vigorous hand shaking]

a real beaut on the bay

class is in session

Your request is being pr

"So effective was the president that Fox News cut away from the broadcast 20 minutes before it ended."

Barry accepted the republicans' invitation to their house retreat and without teleprompters or ideologue rhetoric let the audience reflect themselves. Really, if you have an hour in the day to watch this, it's something to see. Not only because of the blatant mismatch in agenda and tact but also because i think it's very unique to watch a sitting president attend the opposite party's house retreat and perform like i would expect a president to: knowledgeable on the issues and pragmatic.

Healthcare is asked about at about 30 min in, and "rep. jeb from texas" gets schooled at about 55 min.

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no such thing as patriotic beer goggles

just watched the state of the union. nobody can say the man is not a good orator. the address if of course usually largely rhetoric, but it's always nice to hear pettiness being admonished.
still, one would be blacked out after 10 minutes had they played the state of the union drinking game on nancy's seal clapping alone. she really is hard on the eyes, god bless her. they could probably dig up mary todd lincoln's corpse, prop her up against a yard stick and rig her hands with some fishing line for clapping and no one would be the wiser.


unrelated story: link

the real reason i never talk on the phone

most people have heard that cell phone usage has been linked to tumors and heart palpitations. i didnt realize that it's more serious than we've been sheltered to believe in this country. after reading this magazine story, my likelihood of speaking on the phone has gone from about 10% to neverX1,000.
the studies also suggest that wifi has the same effects on the human body and its seeming mutilation of cells as cell phones do. germany has already recommended their citizens avoid wifi for health reasons.
while much of the western world is cautioning their citizens on the dangers of cell phone radiation and starting to look for cell tower alternatives, many in the US have no idea, largely because faux legislation has been in place for some time now to protect the telecommunications industry (a la tobacco and energy/oil) and their enormous profits. in fact, the country is pushing on towards mass wifi without seriously reviewing independent studies on its effect on our bodies, even muffling them.
if i dont answer my phone, it's for both our sakes

sweet f'ing moses

this, friends and family, is a bike wheel with a new tube inside a new tire that has been fully fixed on the rims. it is something i have not seen for a few weeks. notice the sunlight shining on the wheel, as the clouds parted while i achieved the last wedge of tire into place and the music swelled on my speakers. it was meant to finally be. god and the laws of nature were finally ready to stop mocking me every time it occurred to me that i wanted to go for a bike ride but, "ah, balls! that flat tire hasn't fixed itself!"
i can truly empathize with my nephew pax the next time i watch him attempt to build a tower of blocks.i shouldve flown him down for peer support one of the dozen times i tried to put this damn tire on. he and i would sit down with our noble causes: building a marble run block tower and fitting a fucking tire back on a goddamn wheel, respectively. we'd have tremendous confidence and be feeling good about our current attempt because "this time will be different," we'd tell each other. then his wooden tunnel block would fall out of place and my inner tube would pop out from its fitting in the rim. we'd both grumble and look at each other with near exasperation but THIS time will be different. he'd be just about done and giving the marble a test run while i'd have one last inch of tire to pop into place. then... his marble would fall off and my tire would pop off for the 42nd time. wooden blocks and bike pieces would meet against the opposite wall while we scream our respective curses and storm out of the room.
well, i can hear the faint sound of a marble running it's full course...

ooOo

i like me some rain as much as much as the next guy, but damn it's nice to see the sun

wait for it

somehow, the usual crowd will turn this into anti-capitalistic bullying of the poor banks. a lot of americans will believe it, convinced it's socialism. the "tea-baggers" will freak out because they're told they have to take their country back yet again. some news show will start a rumor that barack hussein obama has included a "death tax" to eliminate senior bank executives, which will scare a few million american seniors again. matt drudge will run a screaming red headline about how "obama attacks free market..." and glenn beck will cry and rail about how this isnt what the founding fathers had in mind. in the end, enough americans will be scared to be outspoken against it and it probably wont make it through congress.

is that hypocrisy in your pants, or are you just happy since ignorance is bliss?

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turns out there's a seventh continent.

I sorta forgot about the giant landmass at the bottom of the world. once i settled on it being a featureless slab of ice with a few penguins waddling around, i pretty much lost interest.

then i watched the documentary encounters at the end of the world and it is now easily my seventh-favorite continent. which is not to say i was not incredibly fascinated; i certainly recommend giving the film a viewing. antarctica looked nothing short of an alien planet in some other solar system as the filmmaker explored 13,000 foot volcanoes with star trek-like steam caverns they create in the ice. he then dived into the sea to film the bizarre animals that can sustain the deep cold as the divers' oxygen tank bubbles would react to the trapping ice sheet above like drops of oil in water. mile-thick ice covers much of the continent, even though it is millions of years removed from being tropical. he spoke with some of the many unusual personalities from around the world who end up in antarctica to assist in scientific studies and the strange, almost sci-fi town they inhabit in an ungoverned continent (which happens to be as big as north america but due to the ice and isolation was practically undiscovered even when europeans had been in south america for 300 years). and for me, apparently until 2 days ago. oops.

People I Can't Stand, Vol XIV: Giada

I'd like to encounter Giada just once on the street so I can tell her that she's ugly.


















I mean, dear god, just minutes into her pretentious, self-absorbed show and had you been born yesterday, you'd swear you were taking cooking tips from the Gilded Italian Empress. Fortunately, I was not born yesterday. I've also seen the Adams Family. If you injected Morticia's face with a triple dose of collagen, then stretched her face taut with clothes pins, you'd just about have this one. Oh, then be sure to leave her alone for a few minutes with her mirror, razor and "italian snow".




You know what, Giada? No one gives a hot damn that you pronounce "pasta" like you got off the boat yesterday. So you were born in Italy. I was born in Oregon. Other people were born in other places. NO ONE CARES.

We see that you have boobies. They're nice. I'm sure they landed you your show, among other things. I still start every morning with a little more contempt for you then the day before. It's exponential and won't stop until someone finally tells you that you are not the greatest thing since "paremashjannnma!"

coloRADo, indeed

Surprised Jean and her friend with a birthday trip to Colorado. We spent a day on the slopes at Vail and were the last ones off the mountain which, while scenes from White Fang and Alive momentarily popped into my conscience, I was able to convince myself that being as close to alone in the wild while technically on the grounds of a resort was a good thing. In fact, the rescue guy doing end-of-day sweeps on his snowmobile assured me he didn't mind having to wait for me while I pizza-sliced my way at breakneck speeds from the summit.

"Take your time," he said with the condescending yet reassuring smirk that only a rescuer can give while idling on his snowmobile, petting his dog on his lap.

The two of them just watched while gravity became too much for me while practically standing still on my skis. Nonetheless, he hung back long enough (and Jean was fast/better enough to ski ahead) and I was able to slide along by myself as the snow turned to ice and dusk set in. Nothing but a surreal quiet, white aspens blending in with the ground and the crunch of the snow on the skis as I glided along in my frozen novice wedge stance.

It also allowed for truly inspiring sunset panoramas of the Rockies.




me, jean, camtron, tbell, adam

god gets the last laugh

in case youve managed to miss this gem

Pavlovian Patriotism

A pal sent this video to me and by the time i finished watching it, i felt some sort of cross between wanting to have a no-taxes tea party in my living room and wanting to make an obama effigy dressed as a gay terrorist karl marx trying to get married while urinating on the constitution and the bible, then putting the effigy in the back of my F-350, setting it on fire, attaching a giant american flag to the tailgate and driving slowly through the Castro while playing Born in the USA (nothing against The Boss).

Scary words + overly-dramatic music + us v them mentality=

Countin money

movin $

there's obviously some sort of peace and security having my money and savings in a major bank - one i consider to be relatively sound and responsible. it's not easy to make a decision to move all or some of it to another institution, which is why i havent yet. though the video is a touch on the scare tactic side, there's really something to be said about responding to corporate misbehavior in today's society and culture. the average person isn't going to take to the streets over wall street corruption. as usual, making a concerted effort for change (farmers markets, for one) costs a bit more financially and in terms of convenience. when does the price meet the desire for diversity, fair competition and the desire to avoid companies becoming so big that become an embryonic stage of the government/"too big to fail"?

still a grumpy old man

In a recent NYT Magazine story on the current "war on terror":

A half-dozen former senior Bush officials involved in counterterrorism told me before the Christmas Day incident that for the most part, they were comfortable with Obama's policies, although they were reluctant to say so on the record. Some worried they would draw the ire of Cheney's circle if they did, while others calculated that calling attention to the similarities to Bush would only make it harder for Obama to stay the course. And they generally resent Obama's anti-Bush rhetoric and are unwilling to give him political cover by defending him.

Now, personally, i still think the term "War on terror" is a loosely-defined crock, way too many people are profiteering from it and there's clearly issues to be addressed after the attack attempt last week. but what a freaking shame when absurd partisanship, egos and threats continue as if it's just part of the old boys' game.

like a christmas tree

a horrific, depressing, dose of reality christmas tree. click play on the map in this story to see how the decisions of a corrupt relative few have effected the country in pockmark-like fashion.

neph to the power of 5

im gonna have to memorize a lot more card tricks and inappropriate jokes to keep this many dudes entertained. now when anyone asks how many nephews i have, it'll look like i'm waiting for a high-five, which is pretty sweet. it's a very cool thing to be rechristened uncle.