Office morning wit

Feeling overwhelmed? Insert any of the one-line gems below when greeting coworkers on any morning following a three-day weekend. Delivery is key, so be sure to say these zingers as if it is fresh material, maybe cooked up on the fly or on the drive in to the office (a half-cocked smirk usually is a good fit). However, once you find a comfortable one-liner, it has been found that it's best to stick with it in all applicable (and non-applicable) situations going forward. Be sure to maintain the smirk on each delivery and maintain eye contact to force a response:

"Feels like it was just Friday, right?"
"Feels like Monday, am I right?"
"It's only Tuesday, huh?"
"At least it's Tuesday, huh?"
"Happy Monday!"
"We could use another one of those, huh?"
"Is it Friday yet?"
"When's the next one? Am I right?"
"Whoa - sure you only took three days?"
"Whoa - looks like you had quite the three-dayer"
"Whoa - need another three days?"
"It wasn't long enough" (also works as a good lead-in to a "that's what she said" if this is too prevalent in the office)

and this one, overheard this morning by the office Uber-flamboyant. Not recommended:
"I was trying to loosen my phlegm all weekend. I had way too much mucus to deal with; if you have too much mucus, definitely use zicam. Uh! I was on the couch ALL weekend and my nose was like a faucet! between the mucus and my nose, ugh! it was just SO thick. i'm still backed up and trying to cough it up!"